Katie Price

Jorden has left the jungle. By, by Katie it was fun but shit happens darling. Incidentally what the fuck were you thinking!
I’m being a little hypocritical here because I love the whole Katie Price road show. The tabloid bullshit. It amuses my highly the same way the whole Jade Goodey phenomenon did. Stupid people in the public eye doing themselves no favours. It’s funny. It gives as all a reason to be cheerful.
The poetic bookending of Jade destroying herself on the same show that made her was mesmerising. I watched gawping. It was nasty and racist and horrible and nobody involved even had an inkling of what they were doing. Give a chav enough rope...
There was stuff in the paper about Jade being a nasty cunt when she was in big brother the first time. Jade bullied me stories. They kind of went away without anyone noticing. All the evidence was there. You can’t polish a turd but you can cover it in icing sugar I suppose.
I didn’t feel sorry for Jade when she died. There was the irony that she got diagnosed in India, the home of karma, but I couldn’t muster much empathy. The women had had health problems for years and not visited her doctor. Her cancer was operable and curable but she couldn’t be fucked. To busy fucking her boy/man, trophy/retard boyfriend.
Women seemed to feel sorry for her. The whole she has kids, I have kids, it could be me thing. Yeah it could be you girls if you left any health concerns two years before you consulted a professional.
Jades gone now so we’re spared more pain. Her ex junkie ex whore mother occasionally still rocks up but slowly, slowly she’s fading from view. As is Jack Tweed, who has to rape someone to get into the papers nowadays.
Life would be boring wouldn’t it but luckily for us we still have Jorden.
You’ve got to love Katie haven’t you? Not in a sexual way obviously because she’s hideous (who jerks off to Jorden pictures. Who ever fucking did? Why ruin your day like that?).
You’ve got to love her lack of self view. The inability to stand out side of herself and actually see what she looks like.
She must read the papers and even though, no doubt she feels, the papers get stuff wrong she has be aware the ordinary unaffected people believe every fucking word of it.
So if you juxtapose pictures of her getting pissed up in Ibiza surrounded by blokes and pictures of Pete in Cyprus surrounded by the kids and his mum who’s going to look like a cunt?
Katie, Katie, Katie. She isn’t helped by the fact she hasn’t got the most warming of voices. She sounds like she’s going to start on someone whenever she opens her mouth. That whole arroga-chav sound.
There are those that think she’s very savvy and very smart. That she’s built herself up to where she is now by pure grit and determination. Really? Breast enlargement and soft porn? Nothing to do with luck then?
Surely Katie Price is the human manifestation of the reality TV, untalented celeb, footballers’ wife culture of the last decade. The point at people. I’m doing it now aren’t I? I’m actually doing it. I’m saying look at her what a cunt.
Moment of introspection...
The honest truth is we love freaks. We love the schadenfraude because we’re twisted like that. We like to point and laugh and feel better about ourselves. Being rich and famous would be fun but none of us will achieve that so when someone does and they’re an idiot we feel a perverse delight.
That’s why the British public enjoyed torturing Jorden on I’m a celebrity. No one wants to know the real Katie Price, the soft motherly, kind, part of herself she wanted to project. Nobody cares about that they’ve already made their minds up.
They now have their opinion on her.
This is the woman who drank through her first pregnancy. Look at the poor kid born blind.
The woman has become very rich on her notoriety. She’s courted it, played up to it and but now, when she’s feeling shit, she wants a big national hug and it isn’t forthcoming. Sorry darling. You’re not very huggable.
We’ve got our opinions on her and she doesn’t disappoint. On leaving the jungle she dumped her boyfriend on live TV.
Lovely.
In a funny kind of way that’s Katie Price blowing us all a kiss. Her way of saying you all know I’m a cunt here’s something special for all of you to take to work tomorrow and have a good laugh over.
Thank you Katie, we wouldn’t want to meet you but we love you.